SRW

11/11/11
Spencer Ryan Webster
"A Heart So Big, God Couldn't Let It Live"

I still remember the day we met.

My freshman year. Hawk Hall. I was wearing my favorite shirt. Black Label fire with the words "Feel No Pain". I looked across the people infested hallway to lock eyes with you. Wearing your favorite shirt. Sporting the Black Label fire with the words "Feel No Pain". The hatred on both sides was almost as intense as your ginger hair.

Little did I know then that I just stared down the man that would become an immense example to me and my best friend.

Spence, the memories are endless. Literally endless. Since I got the call this morning my mind has been jumping from thought to happy thought. Riding in the back of Becky's minivan on the way home from JBev's eagle project, having that infernal Singles Ward soundtrack blaring. And secretly knowing every word. Broadcasting, making a mockery of all things related to school news. We were kings with those videos. Home town heroes. The Summer School Crew. Rollin in that intrepid, screaming all sorts of random songs. SPASKETTI! WHY'S IT UPSIDE DOWN? Like Nadia said, you were the first friend with a drivers license. And man will I miss driving around listening to music. You always had impeccable taste in music and style. You introduced me to some of my favorite bands. Sitting on the old abandoned overpass, talking about God, politics, chicks, and everything in between. You were always the enlightened one. Showing me movies that absolutely blew my mind, aka Fight Club. Just to name the first. I love our mutual love for literature. Starbucks and B&N, a glorious combination to begin our pontification sessions. Always ending in a hot tub and QT run. Haha dude I shouldn't laugh but remember when you got jumped out back of that place? We were all so pissed. Effing Mesa d-bags. VEGAS. That trip...geez...that trip changed everything. Its what started it all. Sitting in willi's basement eating cookies. Taco Tuesday. Siting by the fire with our guitars. Finding out that we were almost cousins. The Black Orb. Damn those white robe assassins. Michael Buscaglia. KEN JAMES! Giving each other our house keys. Duct taping! Running through your neighborhood from that crazed black man. Flagstaff camping in that champion of a truck of yours. The way you said 'well'. Our nerd speak. You're one of the only people that wrote me my whole mission through. I'm sorry I couldn't get over there with ya again. That might be my biggest regret. Your bear hugs that we all loved so much.

I could go on forever.
In my heart you will.

Everyone loved you. And I mean Loved You. I don't think you have an enemy anywhere.

You were always there when I needed you and always there when I didn't. You were a friend for all seasons.

You inspire me. Your love of life, your open mind, your open heart. You were a bright light in a dark world, always making it easier to see.

You lived the dream.

I love ya, buddy. Continue asking questions. You'll find the answers.

I'll miss you, Spence.

Keep the fire stoked for me up there, we'll find a hot tub when they let me in.

The end of our last conversation?
Me: "Make it good."
You: "Make it better."

Story of your life.

(A Few Video Memories of My Best Friend.)

til we meet again

Back At It

It has been a while. A long while.

But I plan on being back.

Oh there is so much to mindlessly shoot out into the blogosphere. But I'll settle with this.
I'm back in AZ. I'm transferring schools. I'm starting business. I'm being me again. And I'm moving on with life.

I'm writing a book. I'm learning to sail. I'm traveling. I'm trying to get rich.

Updates soon.

Ouch

I already miss her.

And my head hurts.

I Climb Rocks

There is a blessing and/or curse that makes itself manifest when Max Dillman and I get together. The chaos cosmos come together and we find ourselves in the most interesting situations. It's great.

So on Saturday we decided to go climbing. It was warmish and Dillman was itching to get outside. So we headed up to Big Cottonwood Canyon.

And the adventure began.

One high centered car later we walked out of Cottonwood Canyon with 3 new friends and a 2 and a half foot bong. That's right, a 2 1/2 foot bong.

We were walking up the hill to find a place to drop into the canyon. At the top of the hill was a bearded man on a hand crank bike. He had a trash bag in his lap. As we were walking past him he handed me the bag and said, "Dude I need you to take this, I can't have it anymore. I'm trying to quit." I was beyond confused. Then he asked, "Do you know what it is?" At first I said no, but once I looked at it, both Dillman and I busted up laughing. Sure enough, its blue and a bong. Who would've guessed I'd ever have one in my possession. So we took it from him, left it at the base of the mountain we were climbing and had a good time.

But as I semi-mentioned before, my car -- Silvia -- got high centered on a rock when I pulled off the road. It was concealed underneath a bit of snow so I didn't see it. So some brothers from outta state stopped and helped us jack up the car, dig out the boulder and move the car free. I offered to sell them the bong, but it was a no go. So if you know someone, let me know.

Just kidding. But seriously.


The best news is that we're doing Vegas this weekend. Glory.

Imagine a Piano Solo

Life is interesting. And a lot more poetic if you imagine a piano solo constantly playing in the background.

For example, it's interesting to get a call from your Father at 11:37 PM on a Friday night. It's even more interesting when he is high as a kite. The man took a sleeping pill and decided it would be a good idea to walk around the pool 300+ times cause that would equal roughly a mile. So I felt obligated to stay on the phone with him in case he fell in the pool. He rattled off many ideas to conquer the world. So I was on the phone with him for 24 minutes while in a car full of friends.

And if there's a piano solo serenading the audience, well...

It is interesting.

I'm considering a whole lot of options for my future. Like taking a year off and just traveling and working. Or starting to take EMT classes. And buying my first bike. And maybe a truck. But prolly not the latter. But Europe has been calling my name for quite some time now. About 2 weeks after I left it started asking me to come back. And I've been ignoring it far too long. And the East Coast has been requesting my presence. So maybe I should stop being rude and grace these places with my impeccable sense of humor and good looks.

Oh ya, Jerusalem has been canceled. It is tragic and I'm devastated. But the cash just wasn't there. Which is why I think I need to take some "me" time.

My little cousins love me. And I love them. Cate won't stop talking about me, or so cousin Kenzie says. I believe her. Mostly cause I'm Awesome! (That one goes out to ChTanner.) And the Staples new girl is darling. Babies are so precious. How can people say miracles don't exist?

I haven't shaved in a while. I look terrible with a beard. But give me 5 years. I guarantee I'll have fantastic facial hair.

This rant is brought to you by too much alone time and a lack of entertainment.

I'll tell you what is entertaining however. Annoying cousin Lexi. I don't know why but I take so much joy in it. It's so easy to push her buttons, and they're always there just begging me to prod. So I do. But it's all in good fun. I love her. And her buttons.

I need an adventure. I crave it. I need to base jump. I need to rock climb. I need to get into a fire fight. Or at the very least, I need to read about it. Any suggestions Blogosphere?

Oh School

You know what really grinds my gears?

All my classes making their Midterms during the same week.
I mean really, does that have to be standard protocol? Can't we give it some time, spread them out a little?

Accounting and Statistics are going to kick my fanny. And I mean it in the American way, not the British way. Cause I'm a dude.

Also, I think I'm in love.
But not with accounting or stats. Though it will make me rich. And I have an infatuation with money. It may be the root of all evil, but it's also a gateway to a life I plan on having.

Mother, one day you will drive...

...This.

There's so much money in the world. It's just how you decide to get your hands on it.

Typical Tuesday

This is my typical Tuesday. I sit in my living room drooling over the Ducati Monster 695. Sure, it's an older model, but I love it. It will be mine, oh yes. One day, it will be mine.


On to other news. Finding a job on campus here is Provo is proving to be difficult. I concede that I may not be giving it my full attention, but I have applied to quite a few places. Maybe I should take having a 3rd nipple off my resume as a qualifying factor...

Also, the final interview went well. Holy Land, the only thing standing between us is a couple K.

Again and Again

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

Our existence as human beings is based entirely off of insanity. Our progression to where we are today is due to the insanity of our forefathers. Our day to day is insanity, unless of course we are the sad souls who subscribe to a subservient life and accept the reality we live in with no hope of change.

So here's to the insane! Count me as one of them. I will continue to do what I do, and expect a different -- a better -- result. I choose to Believe. I choose to Hope. I choose Insanity.

For if a different outcome drifts my way I'll be a hero.
I'll be a revolutionary.
The masses will admire and adore me.

I'll be sane.

Sunday

I'm lying on an extremely comfortable couch in my extremely quaint and empty house listening to soft folk music and the raindrops hitting the roof and pavement outside.

And I think to myself, what a beautiful Sunday.

The only negative about my new situation is no cable, but as I got to contemplating I realized how much more calm I am without it. My house is quiet so often, I slowly realized how muddled our world is with noise. And its not necessarily a bad thing, but I'm learning to enjoy the silence a bit more now. I'm home alone, with no prospects of leaving the house tonight, and I'm OK with it. Which is a good place for me to be in.

Yesterday I was mauled my munchkins. I took my little buddy Jax to the Nicklecade as one of our frequent outings. That kid is hilarious. However, the hundreds of other chids (not a typo) at that place running around and screaming were making my blood pressure rise. I can't tell you how many little ones I tripped on...

But while I was there I had an epiphany. I dropped $25 on that little dude for two hours of entertainment, its no wonder I don't ask byrds (also not a typo, rather my slang for girls) out on dates. I spend all my cash on 6-year-old buggers with a fist-full of nickles. This I am also OK with.

You wanna know what I'm not OK with? My car freaking out. Silvia (her name) needs to learn how to start properly in the cold. True I need to top off her power steering fluid, but really I've treated her well. She needs to hang on for me, and I'll hang on for her.

BYU Jeru

Jerusalem? Yes please.

Yesterday I turned in my final interview packet to travel across the big pond to Israel where I'm hoping to spend my summer. All that's left to do is earn 10K and schedule a final interview with the Jerusalem Center rep. So if anyone reading this wants to contribute to my 'Holy Fund' feel free to contact me. I'll tell ya where to send the cash. Consider it tithing to know me.

This semester is rolling on with or without me. Sure, I may have missed my first week of classes. And sure, I may have fallen a bit behind. But laying in bed and reading for an extra week was worth it in my book. And its the only one I have cause I haven't yet bought my books for this semester... meh.

The crazy thing is that I feel like I'm pwning this semester. But ask me again in a month, we'll see what I say then.

P.S. I got a camera. A nice one. I plan on being artsy soon and impressing the blog-o-sphere with my captured images. That is all.

So This Is The New Year

This is it. 2011. A new start. A new dawn. A new day.

Bring it 2011. I will make you my bitz.

It started off right. Namely with me forgetting my jacket in Arizona and being in the frigid Utahan air in nothing but a track jacket. Yep.

But I am clothed and ready. Just not for school.

But here we go anyway.